♥ Sunday, November 16, 2008♥
Send him a blank SMS yesterday.. Wanted to get his attention. He reply me why send him a blank msg? I didn't reply him then.
Somehow or rather i really miss him.. Miss talking to him, as if 1 day nv talk to him will die like that, keep telling myself cannot call him, cannot contact him i must keep the promise of the sms i send to him. In the end i surrunder my dignity i called him, pretending to asked him abt the DVD i lend him.
WHY, WHY? i have treated him as part of my life how? Is like without him i will feel weird, feel uncomfotable.. I cannot and i dun wanna depend on him too much. I really sink myself down to the bottom of the well, really put him deep into my heart.. ARGH!! I dun wanna get hurt frm all tis but just dunno why he seem so important to me now.
We chatted yesterday night.. He asked me hw am i? I told him i cough out blood.. He told me if by today i still not well give him a call and he will come fetch me to see doc.. Feel touch he will say such thing but i told him not to worry.
Read tru the blog i posted 2 yrs back about him, frm the blog i can see i'm really very happy tat time when i know him.. But now it different.. It not i'm not happy now but is like there are more unhappy moment now.
不是对方不重视我,儿是我把对方看得太重. It not i'm not important in his eye but is he too important in my eye isnt' tat true? Tat why sometime it make me feel tat i'm alway not important in his eye but actually is he is too important in my eye.
I really hate myself, why am i so dependent on him? why i love him too much? ARGH!! 被爱是幸福，爱人是痛苦, tis is so true but for me i rather be with someone i love then someone i dun love. No matter wat women still will prefer to be love then to love.
Frankly speaking i still feel hurt inside.. But i also cannot blame him coz his gal is so much more important to him feeling moody is normal.. If his gal is healthy and alive they are already marry and who know already have children and i might not have know him. I can feel the sadness in him, sepreated frm someone u love is really a very miserable feeling, those who nv went tru tis will nv nv know the feeling.
For some of us we might break off with our love 1 but they are still alive and we might have the chance to see them again but to Wisely is different he can nv see her again.. Tis is really a very sad thing further more can see he love her so much.
Well.. Maybe i shall just swollow every unhappy thing tat happen tis few days down. What for wanan bring up more quarrel then make everyone unhappy. At least i know he still care for me, it might not be alot but at least the care is there, i shall be contented.
PrInCeSs ShaN